Expressing L.O.V.E. Through Christlike Communication

So, today I thought this up. I'm no expert in the area of interpersonal communication, but I thought this was helpful and at least a bit catchy.

Jess is really good at this. Yesterday I came home from work for lunch in a huff, frustrated about some tedious data-transformation project I was working on for the last few hours of the first half of the day that I felt was a big waste of time. She listened to me and my venting, validated my feelings, and expressed concern and appreciation for what I do and how I work to support our family. Thirty minutes later I was renewed by her sweet influence and I was ready to cheerfully go back to work.

So, today I tried to think about a way I could remember in my little man-brain how to try to be like my sweet wife. I came up with this little mnemonic. When someone you love is going through a hard time or is struggling with challenging emotions, you might benefit by expressing "love" through gentle communication:
Listen
Offer help
Validate
Express appreciation

Now, chronologically, I'd actually move the "O" to the end, but LVEO isn't a sticky word I can remember.

So, there you go. Take it for whatever it's worth.

Do you have anything similar to this that you use to remind yourself how to communicate lovingly? If so, please share in the comments.

Invitation to Index

Yesterday, the following invitation was made to all Church employees. I thought it was worth passing along:

You may have already heard the news.

Last year was an exciting year for FamilySearch indexing. In 2010, more than 127,000 volunteers worked together to index nearly 200 million records. Their dedicated work has opened archives and record collections on an unprecedented scale. Records that were once difficult to see or even find are now available on any home computer with Internet access.

While these numbers are impressive, they’re not the real story. Every single record documents an important event, a moment, maybe even a lifetime, of meaning to real people—a birth, a marriage, a death. Some of these people, perhaps, were your family, your very own ancestors!

As exciting as it was, last year’s achievement isn’t enough. At the rate of 200 million records a year, it would take over 100 years to index the estimated 2.5 million rolls of microfilm in the Church’s Granite Mountain Records Vault—not to mention the 100 million new digital images added to the collection each year. Clearly, many more volunteers are needed to move this essential work forward.

FamilySearch Indexing Simplifies Family Research
Just a few decades ago, family history research was often complex, requiring much time and other resources to locate, access, and search records carefully. Many record collections were simply unavailable.

Today, using digital images downloaded to personal computers, volunteers from all over the world collaborate to create indexes of record collections. Records are indexed in small batches that take relatively brief amounts of time, so, in a spare half hour here and there, volunteers complete a monumental work in a few days or weeks.

Enthusiastic about a recent project, Jan Davenport, former president of the Arkansas Genealogical Society, exclaimed, “This project would be impossible without the help of FamilySearch. [We had] 120 years of marriages for 75 counties. It would take a hundred years for a few volunteers to do.” FamilySearch indexers completed the project Davenport mentioned in just three years, while working on many other projects at the same time. As a result of their collaborative efforts, these and other indexes provide easy worldwide access to historical collections, often in searches that take only seconds.

How to Help
To begin indexing, go to http://indexing.familysearch.org and click on the blue Test Drive link on the right side of the page. Once you've finished the Test Drive, which allows users to practice indexing a record, click Done. Then click on the Get Started link. Follow the instructions to install the indexing program. Then click on the indexing icon on your desktop and login, using your LDS Account. You will begin with a few short, simple projects to help you learn the process. When you’re ready to move on, you can choose from a number of projects from around the world, according to your interests and language abilities.

A typical batch doesn’t take long to do—usually 30 minutes or less. If you can’t finish the batch in the time you have, you can always close the program and finish later. Your work is saved automatically. If you don’t have time to complete the batch in a week or so, then someone else will finish it for you. There’s no need to worry. Each person just does what he or she can.

These records help people across the world do their family history; they can also help you. By participating in FamilySearch indexing for just a few minutes each day or week, you make a significant contribution. You may find, as others have, that indexing a little bit each week brings unique power and focus to your life. You may find yourself on an exciting adventure as you glimpse details from the lives of real people from different places and times. You may also find, in newly available collections, records that help you take the next step in discovering your own family history.​

Extra Oil

Lately, my three-year-old son Ethan has begun waking up at 6:30 - during the time that I used to have dedicated to personal scripture study. Now, my primary intent during this time has become maintaining silence in the home so as not to wake Jess and our daughter, Emma. I hesitate though, to totally abandon my study time. The solution: watch MormonMessage videos with Ethan on YouTube.

Lately we've really enjoyed the New Testament series they published. The kids have found a few unexpected, somewhat random, favorites. If you were to ask Ethan which is his favorite, he'd say, "the one with the ten virgins." You can imagine - I've seen it over 20 times. I love it - I've learned a lot.

So, how would you explain to your three-year-old kid what the wise virgins' extra oil represents?

Modern revelation provides a helpful verse: Doctrine and Covenants, section 45 refers to many of the signs to the times that precede the Savior's return. Verse 57 speaks of those who spiritual endure the latter-day difficulty:
57 For they that are wise and have received the truth, and have taken the Holy Spirit for their guide, and have not been deceived—verily I say unto you, they shall not be hewn down and cast into the fire, but shall abide the day.

So, here's at least one definition of the extra oil:

1. Wisdom
2. Receipt of the truth
3. Taking the Holy Spirit as guide
4. Avoiding deception

Another, more pragmatic idea is this - those that are wise are those that do the "non-required" things:

• Personally studying the scriptures daily
• Fulfilling all our duties and striving to keep the commandments always
• Going to all three hours of church
• Attending the Saturday-evening adult session of stake conference
• Prayerfully participating in all sessions of general conference

For more thoughts, consider checking out Elder Dallin H. Oaks' great talk on this topic.

Pondering Questions

I'm intrigued by this quote from Brother John S. Tanner:

"By opening my heart to the Lord’s questions of me, I have discovered that I am in a better position to ask and receive answers to my questions of Him (John S. Tanner, "Responding to the Lord’s Questions", Ensign, Apr. 2002, 26)."

I've begun searching "the Lord's questions of me" in the scriptures. I'm compiling them together in the spreadsheet below. Care to help me? If you know of a question asked in the standard works that is helpful to you in generating pondering thoughts, include it in the list here.



If you would like to search for questions electronically, you'll have to go here and download the scriptures in PDF; you can't search by punctuation at scriptures.lds.org. Once you've downloaded the PDF files, you can open them and search by any character, including the "?" in this case.

Religious Freedom

I think this message, delivered by Elder Dallin H. Oaks in a speech at Chapman University of Law last month, is worth the attention of everyone concerned with all things morally related.



Personally, I think it's awesome that such a wonderfully capable and intelligent person is also a person of such remarkable faith. Thank you, Elder Oaks, for your example.

Admonition, Basking, and Pondering

My ability to take in and make spiritual sense of admonition reached a limit on Sunday afternoon, and it taught me an important lesson. It's spawned into this theory.

Like so many of you, I'm sure, I find there's an endless, even "inexhaustible," amount of good things to learn. In addition to my regular study of the gospel, I'm regularly in other meetings and trainings related to my current calling as bishop. To make up for lost time from my traditional personal gospel study time, I've made a habit of listening to general conference talks and BYU speeches when I can at work. While this has been great, I feel like I've over-flooded myself with admonition - I've taken in more than I've had time to ponder about, implement, and habituate.

How To Get Your Own Plan of Salvation

Back in 1972, Elder Bruce R. McConkie gave a wonderful talk on this topic, that I just listened to tonight as I did the dishes. Unfortunately, it's not transcribed, but the MP3 is available. You can listen to it here.

Priesthood: Elder Perry's Perspective

I've been very blessed by the priesthood in my life. I know that it is a very real power.





Here are parts 3 (here) and 4 (here). For some reason these latter two weren't posted to YouTube.

Do You Love Me?

Considering how the scriptures refer to the Savior as the bridegroom and the Church as his bride, this scene from Fiddler On The Roof seems analogous, albeit imperfect. The key question, have your "25 years" of service and diligence and sacrifice in the Lord's service begun to produce their intended effect of increasing your love for the Lord?

You Get What You Want

Although not always true in our day to day lives, in the long run, you get what you want.

Consider Elder Neal A. Maxwell's reflection on agency shared in an intimate way here at BYU just four months before his death. His talk is among my personal favorites. Check it out here.